36 posts tagged “butcher baker stumpy heartbreaker”

And we must never, ever be boring."

So says Chuck Palahniuk.

I found that quote when I found its mirror from Robert Frost. He said, "What I know about life can be summed up in three words: it goes on."

Between the two, just about everything can be dealt with.

At this point I feel lots better about blogging, which I avoided for a long time because I didn't want this space to be all-political-spew-all-the-time or venting about great pools of stupidity that no one had surrounded with cones. Amazing just how much annoyance can fit in small blocks of time.

Right now big swaths of my home look a lot more inviting from Big Cleans that I've actually been able to do before Thanksgiving. Wolfman Dilbert's going to be home for a week and change, and his birthday is Saturday before Thanksgiving. Girlzilla has a school project that involves making cookies, so I get to kibbitz and spread the gospel of sweet fatty carbs yea unto a new generation. Thanksgiving already is going to involve peanut butter chip brownies with chocolate glaze and pecan butter tarts and mini eclairs and pumpkin pie, as well as lasagna and all the rest. I've got a turkey that I'm pulling tonight to give it time to thaw, and once that clears out of the fridge I'll have room for the last minute salads and such.

Lots of extra stuff, and most of it freezes beautiful and/or will be packed to send home with people. Every year it amazes me the stuff that disappears, even though there's WAAAY much of it. This year we may have a few extra people, but I know no one will go hungry.

Benevolent Patriarch, Girlzilla and I even got to watch Dark Knight tonight (yay for dollar movies!) and yes, I must own this. Perhaps Wolfman Dilbert can persuade me to go with him to watch it again later in the week. I was working on way too little sleep and was dozing off in parts, so I'd like to see it again for that alone, if not that I love love love how the brothers Nolan took care of Two-Face and the Joker.

For the record, Girlzilla will be making (under my exacting Pai Mei-like tutelage)...fudge crackle cookies. For those interested in a Bake-Along (kind of like a knit-along, except so far only I do them), the recipe is as so:

Preheat oven to 300 degrees, and melt together:

1/2 cup ( one stick) margarine (and yes, margarine is better here for the texture)
6 oz unsweetened chocolate (you can sub 6 tablespoons oil and 1 cup plus two tablespoons cocoa for this, if you find that you're actually out of unsweetened chocolate and have resorted to Very Bad Words)
1/2 teaspoon salt

Add in :

2 cups sugar
4 eggs
big heroic dose of vanilla

And lastly add:

2 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder

A purist would then scoop these into balls and roll them in sugar before setting them onto a parchment-lined pan. I do that only if I've got time to yell, "Death from above!" and make bombing noises as I drop them in. Otherwise it's way faster and easier to scoop them and plop them down onto the parchment, and just sprinkle sugar on the tops. No one can ever tell the difference except me, and I prefer the texture of the bottoms without the extra sugar.

These bake for about twenty minutes, depending on your oven and the size of the doughballs. They crackle as the cook, but if you take them out when they're completely rugged-looking then they'll be hard little pucks when they cool. When the center cracks just begin to look dry, pull them out.

Yum!

A wonderful telling of the classic Velveteen Rabbit, for getting your dear ones off to bed.

Oh, wait...I meant Velveeta.

A bittersweet tale that somehow makes me very hungry indeed.

Oddly enough, found this on the Anti-Craft blog. Despite my own personal shape I assure you that not all us crafters are blobby and in constant need of food-like products.

Although I do have to admit that Little Debbies sound really good right now.

Over at Brownie Points there's a fabulous tutorial up for mock sushi, stuff that looks real but is based on things like rice krispy treats.

Tamago_sm

And to think I don't even really like sushi but I love these.

Rolls

Baked+Donuts

This is the photo that the ever-wonderful Tartelette has up for her baked doughnuts post and they look so invitingly yummy that I've got to do them first thing in the morning. She's got a great description of how the recipe works, which leaves going, "what SHE said"...lame, I know, but true.

These remind me of pull-apart bread, where you roll the dough in melted butter and cinnamon sugar and stack it all together in a tube pan, finishing up with a fragrant mound of fattening goodness that surely promotes world peace on a measurable macrocosmic scale.

Apparently the whole "baked doughnuts" thing has been across the foodie blogosphere while I had my back turned and I'm quite late to the party indeed. Hopefully that means that the current flush of recipes are tasty, rather than just really hopefully that baked can be as good as fried.

Really, somebody should re-clue me in to the fact that a week is a loooonng time in the blogiverse and I should veg out a lot more.

Le sigh.

At any rate, I'll be using Tartelette's recipe (which again, looks fabulous) and I recommend you do the same to keep me from being all alone in my doughnutty goodness.

Found out this morning that I didn't have to go to work today, and neither did Benevolent Patriarch. I still get paid for today (yay corporate food service!) but we all spent the day in total relaxation mode. Tomorrow is going to be hit the ground running, with me at Really Big Pharma all morning, at Girlzilla's back to school night in the afternoon, and back to work at night till about 4 am. But today has been nothing short of blissful.

We got a bunch of Chinese takeout (which I didn't have to even get dressed for, as Patriarch can be wonderfully chivalrous) and there's still some Kung Pao chicken in the fridge. Laundry's done, dishes held at bay, and I've been able to catch up on desertcandy and the great 20 Days of Ice Cream run she's been doing. Love love love that blog, and was pleasantly in tune with it when I started having the free time to check archives.

Found that my favorite carrot cake recipe is the same she uses for her birthday each year. I have the issue of Gourmet in question, as I've been collecting them for years, and just started doing that carrot cake at work. I personally would prefer basic cream cheese icing between layers instead of apricot preserves, but honestly I think it works just as well as a sheet cake. Try it in a 9x13 pan and you may look at it with skepticism, sure that it'll never amount to anything much, but it rises nicely and evenly. It's got a lot of flavor and some good density, rather than one of the greasy underflavored over-cinnamoned black holes most carrot cakes are.

For those too lazy to surf there (though I highly recommend it):

Carrot Cake (one 9x13 pan's worth)

In a mixer start mixing:

4 eggs
1/4 teaspoon salt

till frothy, and slowly add:

1 cup oil

While that's going, mix together:

2 cups flour
2 cups brown sugar (The original just says sugar, but brown is better. Trust me.)
2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp each cinnamon, allspice, nutmeg
1/4 tsp cloves

Fold that into the liquid stuff, then fold in:

4 cups grated carrots
1/2 cup walnuts, optional (Hey, don't be a wuss! Make it a full cup! And later more on top, instead of fussy little frosting carrots!)

Pour it all into a papered or greased 9x13 and bake at 350 until it's done. It'll spring back nicely when you touch it, it'll be golden, and the house will smell wonderful. When it's cool, top it with a nice basic cream cheese icing and you've got comfort on a fork.

What?!? Fine. (hmmmph) Your basic cream cheese icing recipe:

Beat together:

2 sticks butter (I don't have to tell you real butter is best, do I?), or half a pound
Half a pound powdered sugar (about a cup and a half)

till fluffy and smooth. (Yes the sugar is variable. Some people like it sweeter, some less sweet. You can add more later if you want.) Add:

1 1/2 pounds (usually three packages) cream cheese
sploosh vanilla

and beat till smooth. Taste it to compensate for flavor, if it bugs you, but be careful how long you beat this. Cream cheese icing gets to a point where it's nice and spreadable, and further beating makes it runnier. Chilling it will not get it to full firmness again, but if it's for a sheet and not a layer cake it's no big deal.

And no, I never feel the need to make little marzipan bunnies.

Despite the obvious threat to the balance of the universe, I managed to not only do much work (for much pay,yay!) this week but also had something of a social life.

Earlier this week I had breakfast lunch with an old friend of mine at a tiny little Chinese buffet place. She's the one who got me into Choi Kwang Do in the first place and we've known each other since Girlzilla was a tiny little babe in arms and we'd worked together professionally for years. Girlzilla was still asleep when I needed to leave (not long after my own awaking) but Friend Bakestar brought her daughters and we ate and talked and it was like we'd never drifted apart.

Good time.

Last night I felt the cold that so wants to bring me down this weekend threatening me but I met up with a good friend from high school that I haven't seen in a dog's age. We met at an Olive Garden in a part of nouveau riche Former Farmerville that was so new the bubblewrap was still on. Lots of brand spankin' new construction and roads right off the highway that included roundabouts. Really badly set up, ill-advised roundabouts.

From the mapquest I'd gotten the clue that there would be roundabouts included, but damned if I expected generic knockoff crack cocaine would be involved. These roundabouts are with minimal warning, three of 'em all on top of each other. I made it through the first one fine but saw no way to get where I needed to be by the time the whole setup kicked me out into nowhere. And I'm not a particularly cautious driver, having learned to drive in Detroit and driven there for years on both highway and downtown comfortably.

The really shocking thing was how stupidly unnecessary the roundabouts are there. When I missed my turn (what with not being able to levitate the minivan over and through other traffic to the correct lane) the system abruptly dumped my into fancy-schmancy look-at-my-bank-account! McMansions and big empty. I figured I could just loop around to the road I wanted (since I used to live around there and knew the road as a major one) and it took me four miles before I could get back on anything major. Only two turns did it, but there were no roads at all for two miles.

Unbelievable.

Fortunately, once I got there I was able to meet up with my dear old friend and we had such a warm fun time talking and noshing. I'm not a big Olive Garden fan (I think she chose it because it'd be easy for her to get home and easy for me to find) but normally I can still find stuff to eat. Last night I'm afraid I wasn't very good company what with my head pounding and my stomach planning violent insurrection, but I really enjoyed seeing her and hope we can set something up again soon. I'm still getting used to the schedule I've got working nights, teaching and training some afternoons, occasional bits back at Really Big Pharma (including this Tuesday, where my entire day is accounted for from before midnight Monday to after midnight Tuesday), and now shoehorning in Girlzilla's school schedule.

So this morning I've got a library run planned, and Girlzilla and I will finally watch the Simpsons movie, and I'll be clothes shopping (so much more fun when nothing's super-urgent and I've got cash) and a whole lot of relaxing. Tomorrow I want to try some new stuff at work, and I'm dying to see how the good 'n' proper carrot cake instead of the prefab untouched-by-human-hands soulless stuff they usually have went over. I use the recipe that Gourmet featured in the early seventies and it's hands down my favorite even though it took me a while getting there. (When I eventually followed the directions helped.)

Recipe later.

So today (meaning Saturday) I've got my inlaws coming up to bring up a van for Wolfman Dilbert's big back to school haul, but that comes after the big video game night at choi kwang do, the big getting done of loads of errands, the getting stuff for the big neighborhood picnic tomorrow, the flat tire that I got just as I came home, and the eleven hour day I did at work last night.

And Sunday looks like another really long day.

I sent off some pecan buttercrunch and s'mores bars with Wolfie for the video game night he was helping with, although he insists nobody (meaning he, personally, doesn't) likes pecans. Feh. Like I impugn his religion! Pecans are one of the healthier things I happen to love, and certainly go in practically anything. Besides, more of the buttercrunch got narfed up than the s'mores bars, which are always wildly popular. (There's one kid at choi who always asks when he sees me, "Did you bring any s'mores bars?" in a touchingly hopeful voice. Like I carry them in my pocket just for such occasions.)

By request (from a couple of people, which makes me wonder if it's coming back in, after the great cupcake and now ice cream waves of fashion), a recipe for tiramisu. Now, last place I worked I did a version that I really didn't care for, because that sucker had to be more sturdy than tasty, and able to sit out at room temp without dying horribly(as well as not really having decent ingredients).  Really I like my tiramisu to be more like a glorified moussy layered thing, and I have no objections to serving it in ways that don't necessarily mean nice neat slices.

So.

Normally I'd make ladyfingers, or you could buy them, but a better way reall is to set the whole thing up as a tiramisu tart using a 9 inch springform pan. Spray the springform lightly. You'll be doing a dough for the pastry layer, then a chocolate layer, and a coffee mascarpone filling. For the dough, heat together:

1/2 cup (one stick) butter
1 tablespoon coffee liqueur (I use Kahlua) or water

until the butter is melted. Remove from heat, stir in:

1 teaspoon vanilla

and set aside. In a small bowl sift together:

1 1/2 cups flour
1/4 cup cocoa
1/4 cup powdered sugar
pinch of salt

and gradually add in the liquid stuff until a soft dough forms. Knead this lightly until it's smooth, but be careful not to work it much. Press this onto the bottom of the springform and up the sides to about 3/4 inch away from the top. Prick this throughly, and chill it for about half an hour. During that time, preheat the oven to 375. Bake the shell for about ten minutes or until done, as this is the only baking involved. If it puffs up during baking, just press it back and bake more if needed. When it's hot from the oven the dough can be shoved into place before it sets, if it needs it. Let cool.

For the chocolate layer heat together:

1 1/2 cups heavy cream
4 ounces bittersweet chocolate

in the microwave until the cream's just about boiling, and add:

2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons Kahlua

and whisk till smooth.Pour this into the shell and chill. Now the moussy filling.

In one bowl whip:

1 cup heavy cream

to soft peaks. In another bowl whip:

12 ounces mascarpone
3 tablespoons powdered sugar
3 tablespoons Kahlua
3 tablespoons espresso or strong coffee (or be lazy and just use more Kahlua. I love that stuff)

until smooth and fluffy and creamy. Fold in the whipped cream and add in:

3 1/2 ounces grated chocolate (I usually use bittersweet, but this is a big personal preference thing) and spread the whole thing onto the chocolate layer in the springform. Level this, and sprinkle on more finely grated/ground chocolate or even cocoa on top for garnish. Chill thoroughly, run a knife along the edge to loosen and serve.

While not a classic tiramisu, quite, a think I like this one better than anything made with store-bought ladyfingers which are a good deal harder and drier than homemade ones. If you'd like a more classic version, get ladyfingers and dip them into espresso for each "cake" layer, make the same moussy stuff for the filling and layer them as much as you'd like, finishing with whipped cream and ground chocolate on top. Also, adding creme de cacao to the espresso dipping sauce is a nice touch.

Enjoy!

So I trained today with Wolfman Dilbert and we had a good hard class in anticipation of his last week home before going to college. (Junior year already! Can you believe it?!)

Directly afterwards I took Girlzilla to a meet-and-greet thing for fourth through eighth graders. One of the families hosted this as a potluck at their house, which I'd never been to before even though I know the family reasonably well from school. Their house was a cozy refuge, largish but without any spots that feel unused or unloved. They have a pool, and while it was a bit cool for me to like the idea of swimming and then stepping out into cold air the kids all had a blast.

Girlzilla was in the pool almost the entire time we were there, and Host Dad was grilling burgers and hotdogs of various stripes, and there was lots of stuff that people brought. There was sliced watermelon and grapes and macaroni salad and chips as well as the aforementioned hotdogs and burgers, and I brought a couple of pies- tollhouse and chess pie.

It was wonderfully relaxing to just veg out and ignore the running to-do list that I'm always falling behind on. I was even too lazy to actually stand. I grabbed a chair early and generally held forth on matters sundry and complex, like things I like, and people who're evil, and the great goodness that is borne of sugar. (All with a generous dose of snark, sprinkled heavily with nostalgia. Love me, love the eighties, dude.)

Girlzilla was most put out upon realizing she'd missed out on both pies and so now I'm setting up a pie crust to make another tollhouse pie for us at home. Enough people asked me about the recipes that finally I decided I'd blog them and give them the recipes in question there, rather than try to remember both recipes off the top of my head.

So.

For tollhouse pie, you'll want a 9" pie crust, unbaked, and an oven that gets to 350 in less than an afternoon. (Mine's been acting up, if you wonder why the caution. I hope it's not contagious.)

Mix together:

1 cup butter, melted and fairly cool
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup flour
2 eggs
as many chocolate chips as seem appropriate

and pour this into the shell. Bake until golden and set.

Now, because of the chocolate you could wimp out and use margarine instead of butter and it would be OK, but please use decent chocolate. There's also loads of sugar here, so don't be afraid of darker chocolate that has more oomph to it. Usually when I do this I just melt the butter first in a mixing bowl in the microwave and everything else after the butter has had a few minutes to cool. Lastly, I generally do about six ounces of chips to a pie, but hey, some days are rougher than others.

What you should get after the whole shebang cools is something like a pecan pie, but with chocolate that may well have formed a fudgy layer at the bottom and with no nuts. If you'd like to dress this up a bit, a rosette of whipped cream and or a drizzle of chocolate over each piece is nice, but French vanilla ice cream and Pirouline cookies are especially nice with this.

Isn't that a happy thought?

Now. For chess pie you'll need that same 350 degree oven and another pie shell. (What? I don't care how you get one, just get it! Sheesh.) This time mix together:

1/2 cup butter, melted (that's one stick, or a quarter pound)
2 cups sugar
2 tablespoons flour
5 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
2/3 cup buttermilk

pour that in your shell and bake till golden and set. This isn't really a pie that you dress up, being country food, but feel free to sift on some powdered sugar if you want to play up the pretty sunny gold that the inside becomes. This one I like just as it is, thanks. Really, the big thing as that the butter should be omigod real butter, as you will taste it. If you insist on substitutes you will be doing a disservice to this pie and that's just out of my hands. You've been warned.

So I sit, planning another tollhouse pie for my beloved hellspawn and Benevolent Patriarch, having made trashy Kraft mac'n'cheese for said spawn (by their demand) and I'm having leftover balsamic chicken and oniony risotto. Really, I'm just too good for them.

Ciao!